Dahlings
How are you? I'm fine thanks.
Actually...no. I am not fine. I'm highly PMSing. During this period (pardon the pun) I am very emotional, kinda like stab myself in the eye kind of anger and sadness. Dramatic, I know but whatever. Ugh.
The reason why I am telling you that I am PMSing is that I think this post will be highly raw. I may regret it because I am a private person. Perhaps it's a good thing to lay out all these thoughts that have been sprinting in my head for the last couple of months. They are living thoughts and we know thoughts that become words eventually manifest into actions.
Brace yourselves, this is probably going to be a brain dump and it may not make sense. (please don't hate me... love me, I'm sensitive and just follow along).
Firstly, I need to say this...I am a creative. Phew! I've never said this outloud before. I've acknowledged my creative side but I've never fully embraced it. Why? Because creatives come across as loopy, crazy and poor (my perspective). I am NOT about the life of being poor. I grew up poor and it's not as romantic as it is made out in the movies. My job allows me to be creative in some aspects - working in IT - but it doesn't fulfill every corner of my soul.
Secondly, I must acknowledge women that are making me crazy (creative-ness is starting. Dear lawd) because they inspire me to really chase after my dreams:
1) Oprah...because Oprah. I have loved and revered her since I was 12
2) Yvonne Orji...I can't quite remember how I came across Yvonne but it was in recent months that I came across her TED talk, then one or two (or all) of her interviews, then her Instagram, then her podcasts and now I am a full blown stalker. I have downloaded all of Jesus & Jollof podcasts with Luvvie. I have listened to each episode at least 4 (read 8) times and each time there is some or other new revelation that I get. I am so grateful that she was relentless in pursuing God's calling on her life because she has inspired me to really pursue mine. I don't have the big picture but I know God's calling is greater than what I can imagine and scary as all heck. Do you know why it scares me? Because I have carved out a cute little life that is private and small - and if I live right in the middle of my calling, everything will be bared as a testimony. The control that I have over my life will be gone. Uncertainty will be my new normal. I will have to raise a standard. I will have to step out of the boat. Quite frankly, I'm too lazy & tired to do all of that. I am, however,even more tired of living a mediocre life. I am created to shake and influence generations. Yup, that's a bold statement but I know this to be true. (I just Oprah'd the heck out of that sentence) There are so many things I love about Yvonne's character but one thing that stands out for me is that she is unapologetically Christian. In a world and industry that is not accepting of Christianity, she stands for and lives what she believes. It's not a watered down kind of Christian walk, she lives it authentically as it is. Now, I've never denied my Christianity but I have certainly compromised, deviated from time to time and I am so encouraged by her steadfast faith. Get it girl! (as if she'll read this..ha! If you do Yvonne, can we be besties? I'm South African and thus practically your cousin because we come from the same continent.)
Devon Franklin once said that at the end of his life, when he meets Creator God, he doesn't want to hear "Devon, I had all these things I wanted to accomplish through you but because of your disobedience, I could only accomplish a couple of things". I think I heard this last year and since then I have been taking baby steps to change but I feel a pull/push to take giant leap to step out of the boat.
In exactly a week, I will be turning 33. The number three has always been my favourite number. THERE ARE TWO of them. I will make it count. By God's grace, favour and strength...this will be the year that I look back and say "33, what a magical year. To God be the glory".
I have a blog and a YouTube channel. I will use these platforms to the best of my ability to live out my calling. I will not accept a mediocre life. You should not too. Let's be frank (why can't we be peter?), the second that you start living your purpose, all gates of hell open to discourage you. It's scary to take that leap of faith because it is hard, lonely and requires sacrifice. I can guarantee you though, God has equiped and will keep equipping you with everything you need to succeed.
I hope this post encourages you. Even if it's just one person that decides they will embark on the same journey.
Keep your eyes on the prize and keep your eyes on the author and the finisher of your faith.
Let's do this.
XO
Stellah
How are you? I'm fine thanks.
Actually...no. I am not fine. I'm highly PMSing. During this period (pardon the pun) I am very emotional, kinda like stab myself in the eye kind of anger and sadness. Dramatic, I know but whatever. Ugh.
The reason why I am telling you that I am PMSing is that I think this post will be highly raw. I may regret it because I am a private person. Perhaps it's a good thing to lay out all these thoughts that have been sprinting in my head for the last couple of months. They are living thoughts and we know thoughts that become words eventually manifest into actions.
Brace yourselves, this is probably going to be a brain dump and it may not make sense. (please don't hate me... love me, I'm sensitive and just follow along).
Firstly, I need to say this...I am a creative. Phew! I've never said this outloud before. I've acknowledged my creative side but I've never fully embraced it. Why? Because creatives come across as loopy, crazy and poor (my perspective). I am NOT about the life of being poor. I grew up poor and it's not as romantic as it is made out in the movies. My job allows me to be creative in some aspects - working in IT - but it doesn't fulfill every corner of my soul.
Secondly, I must acknowledge women that are making me crazy (creative-ness is starting. Dear lawd) because they inspire me to really chase after my dreams:
1) Oprah...because Oprah. I have loved and revered her since I was 12
2) Yvonne Orji...I can't quite remember how I came across Yvonne but it was in recent months that I came across her TED talk, then one or two (or all) of her interviews, then her Instagram, then her podcasts and now I am a full blown stalker. I have downloaded all of Jesus & Jollof podcasts with Luvvie. I have listened to each episode at least 4 (read 8) times and each time there is some or other new revelation that I get. I am so grateful that she was relentless in pursuing God's calling on her life because she has inspired me to really pursue mine. I don't have the big picture but I know God's calling is greater than what I can imagine and scary as all heck. Do you know why it scares me? Because I have carved out a cute little life that is private and small - and if I live right in the middle of my calling, everything will be bared as a testimony. The control that I have over my life will be gone. Uncertainty will be my new normal. I will have to raise a standard. I will have to step out of the boat. Quite frankly, I'm too lazy & tired to do all of that. I am, however,even more tired of living a mediocre life. I am created to shake and influence generations. Yup, that's a bold statement but I know this to be true. (I just Oprah'd the heck out of that sentence) There are so many things I love about Yvonne's character but one thing that stands out for me is that she is unapologetically Christian. In a world and industry that is not accepting of Christianity, she stands for and lives what she believes. It's not a watered down kind of Christian walk, she lives it authentically as it is. Now, I've never denied my Christianity but I have certainly compromised, deviated from time to time and I am so encouraged by her steadfast faith. Get it girl! (as if she'll read this..ha! If you do Yvonne, can we be besties? I'm South African and thus practically your cousin because we come from the same continent.)
Devon Franklin once said that at the end of his life, when he meets Creator God, he doesn't want to hear "Devon, I had all these things I wanted to accomplish through you but because of your disobedience, I could only accomplish a couple of things". I think I heard this last year and since then I have been taking baby steps to change but I feel a pull/push to take giant leap to step out of the boat.
In exactly a week, I will be turning 33. The number three has always been my favourite number. THERE ARE TWO of them. I will make it count. By God's grace, favour and strength...this will be the year that I look back and say "33, what a magical year. To God be the glory".
I have a blog and a YouTube channel. I will use these platforms to the best of my ability to live out my calling. I will not accept a mediocre life. You should not too. Let's be frank (why can't we be peter?), the second that you start living your purpose, all gates of hell open to discourage you. It's scary to take that leap of faith because it is hard, lonely and requires sacrifice. I can guarantee you though, God has equiped and will keep equipping you with everything you need to succeed.
I hope this post encourages you. Even if it's just one person that decides they will embark on the same journey.
Keep your eyes on the prize and keep your eyes on the author and the finisher of your faith.
Let's do this.
XO
Stellah
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