Dahlings
How are you? I'm fine thanks.
Firstly, since I started working at my current place of employment I have realised that every time I start a sentence I say "so..."! My English teacher would be beside herself. My mother is probably turning in her grave!!! Fun fact: My mother was a language teacher and was very passionate about it.
Anyways... I digress.
So, I reread my previous post & I realised that although I needed to acknowledge that I am creative, one of the reasons I didn't want to say it out loud was because I feel like labels can be boxing (ah...finally I sound like a millennial). I am a lot of things which a lot of the time seem paradoxical (I had to double check the meaning of this word because I wanted to sound clever. Lolsies). My normal day job and qualification is business analysis & project management. I love it! I love all of it! I love that it scares me a lot of the time. I love that I feel out of my depth one hundred percent of the time when I am in meetings and analysing stuff. I. love. it.
My brain is very analytical, process and system driven....
But also very creative.
I love playing with words. I love a good pun. I love writing. I love the challenge of creating something - be it food, a blog, a vlog, public speaking and so on.
Do you know what I am realising as I type this? What I do at work is creating. If you think of a project, it starts with a trigger or a need. (I won't bore you with grave details about the project world don't worry) This trigger gives birth to finding a solution and implementing that solution. Often, the solution is something that the company did not have to begin with. It's creating a new world for a company.
So that's where my two worlds collide.
I love learning about technology & where it's going. I love discussions about current affairs, the economy, world events, history, cooking, baking, creating lip balms, make up, clothes, budgets, project plans, music and watching Gilmore girls. I also care very deeply about women's rights and justice.
The problem is that I seem to exist in a world where these two worlds are exactly that - two worlds. I live in a space where I feel like I have one foot in one world and another foot in another world. It would seem that these two worlds can never co-exist. People in the creative space always say that people that work in a corporate environment are too stuck up and stiff, blah blah. People in corporate say to me that creatives are dirty with no ambition.
I say people are not two dimensional characters in a movie. We are diverse individuals but are too afraid (maybe?) to explore all corners of our individuality because of what the world will think. I think that's dumb.
Even with my friends, I find that I have a varied circle of friends because what feeds my soul is a million-different-dimensional (ooh that English, though). I am finally OK with that. I will never fit in with one group of people. I will not change to fit in with the world. I will make the world fit in with me.
Does all this self acceptance mean I am finally becoming an adult? Is being 33 the year that I fully adult? I like this space. I think I'll exist in it for a while.
I hope this thesis makes you think, accept and love yourself totally.
Be blessed.
XO
Stellah
How are you? I'm fine thanks.
Firstly, since I started working at my current place of employment I have realised that every time I start a sentence I say "so..."! My English teacher would be beside herself. My mother is probably turning in her grave!!! Fun fact: My mother was a language teacher and was very passionate about it.
Anyways... I digress.
So, I reread my previous post & I realised that although I needed to acknowledge that I am creative, one of the reasons I didn't want to say it out loud was because I feel like labels can be boxing (ah...finally I sound like a millennial). I am a lot of things which a lot of the time seem paradoxical (I had to double check the meaning of this word because I wanted to sound clever. Lolsies). My normal day job and qualification is business analysis & project management. I love it! I love all of it! I love that it scares me a lot of the time. I love that I feel out of my depth one hundred percent of the time when I am in meetings and analysing stuff. I. love. it.
My brain is very analytical, process and system driven....
But also very creative.
I love playing with words. I love a good pun. I love writing. I love the challenge of creating something - be it food, a blog, a vlog, public speaking and so on.
Do you know what I am realising as I type this? What I do at work is creating. If you think of a project, it starts with a trigger or a need. (I won't bore you with grave details about the project world don't worry) This trigger gives birth to finding a solution and implementing that solution. Often, the solution is something that the company did not have to begin with. It's creating a new world for a company.
So that's where my two worlds collide.
I love learning about technology & where it's going. I love discussions about current affairs, the economy, world events, history, cooking, baking, creating lip balms, make up, clothes, budgets, project plans, music and watching Gilmore girls. I also care very deeply about women's rights and justice.
The problem is that I seem to exist in a world where these two worlds are exactly that - two worlds. I live in a space where I feel like I have one foot in one world and another foot in another world. It would seem that these two worlds can never co-exist. People in the creative space always say that people that work in a corporate environment are too stuck up and stiff, blah blah. People in corporate say to me that creatives are dirty with no ambition.
I say people are not two dimensional characters in a movie. We are diverse individuals but are too afraid (maybe?) to explore all corners of our individuality because of what the world will think. I think that's dumb.
Even with my friends, I find that I have a varied circle of friends because what feeds my soul is a million-different-dimensional (ooh that English, though). I am finally OK with that. I will never fit in with one group of people. I will not change to fit in with the world. I will make the world fit in with me.
Does all this self acceptance mean I am finally becoming an adult? Is being 33 the year that I fully adult? I like this space. I think I'll exist in it for a while.
I hope this thesis makes you think, accept and love yourself totally.
Be blessed.
XO
Stellah
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