Skip to main content

When do you feel the happiest?

 

Dahlings.


How are you? I'm fine thanks.


Today as I was running my errands I had a thought about when I am the happiest. I realised that I love managing  projects, writing, taking stunning pictures and creating content for my YouTube channel. Today I helped a friend put together her child's 1st birthday party and I loved it. Over the past week, I have just felt an urge to write and write and write. I have been writing so many blog posts and a potential book that I may release one day. In this space, I found that I was very happy. Flipping tired but very happy.


Anyways...this led to my question...when do we feel the happiest?


Allow me to elaborate.



For the largest portion of my life I have been told by black people that "I have white people tendencies" and white people telling me "you're so black". Here's the thing, I've always been 'othered'. This made me strong enough to dance to the beat of my own drum and never really let people into my personal space because I constantly felt judged and just not enough for them. Today I can tell you that I am too old and have been through too much crap to care about other people's opinions. 


I'd be lying if I said I am not affected by other people's perceptions of me because I found myself thinking about these comments. The first thought that came to mind is how a friend of mine said that she has noticed that her 2 year old takes stunning pictures and she wants to nurture that talent. My immediate response to that is "I hope she will not be judged and told that her vocation is too white which will lead her to hide her beautiful talent". Second thought "I am so excited for this next generation of black kids that will be encouraged to use their talents and passions to make a living over making a logical choice in order to make a living and a life". 



This led to another thought today. What if people were allowed to explore their passions without judgement or condemnation? Would we have a world of people that are happier and more fulfilled? And if so, then would there be still so much hatred, anger, depression and anxiety? I mean...I'm not saying it would be a eutopic kind of world but I have feeling that the world would be a much better place to live in. 


This led to another thought...If  I were not being paid to do what I do...would I be doing it? The answer is...To a very large degree...yes, I love running projects. Would it look exactly like how it looks now? No. I am very privileged that I love my job and it also affords me the resources to study, write and create content but this is not best case scenario. Best case scenario would be getting paid and gaining traction in all of my passions.



Is my life perfect? Not completely. I have an enormous desire to have a family ie husband and kids. 


But largely, I am happy with my life. I only hope that you take the time to carve out the life you want. I'm not going to lie to you. It's going to be flipping hard to turn the ship around. Friendships will be tested. You will be tested beyond what you think you can handle. But let me assure you, nothing beats going to sleep at night knowing that you are exploring so much of who you are. Including zumba and singing (I bet you didn't see that coming)


I am asking you to try. Try to turn the ship in the direction of your dreams. If you can't dive straight into it, do it little by little. Guys, its so worth it. So so worth it. 


Til Later

Xo

Stellah.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Online Dating...the first installment

Dahlings It's been a while... Let me start by saying that I hate dating. Whenever I write a post about my dating life, please always remember and refer to the above statement. I have a friend of mine who once said "I wish we all had bar codes that only matches with your life partner. We will not waste each other's time, we will know immediately if it's the right person for us." How I wish that were the case. We are in the thick of COVID-19. I have been in lockdown for almost 4 weeks. I have had a lot of time to think and I've just woken to the realisation that I am 34. I don't feel bad about my age at all. I love the thirties. I feel like it's such a romantic age with myself. I'm digressing. This is not a post about the thirties. The reason why I decided to publish my age is that I always felt like I was 27 until I realised I was 34. You know what that means for us women....tick tock.... I was watching a clip of The View on YouTube ...
3 comments
Read more

Suffering and Sacrifice.

Is it the same thing? Hi Dahlings How are you? I'm fine thanks. It's been a minute I know but life sometimes just gets in the way of having fun. Right now, I should be writing my last test for the semester (and then it's exams YAY! - sarcasm) but I have had this lingering thought for so long that right now it is bubbling over and I know I won't be able to focus until I put it out into the internet-universe like a true millennial. Life is hard. Life is effing hard. Ok I'm done bye! Jokes. I love stories. I love reading stories. I love hearing stories. I love watching stories. I love telling stories. I believe that everyone has a story to tell. The stories that I gravitate towards are 'rags to riches stories' or stories about how people had to suffer to get to their next level of success. It motivates me to strive for more in my life. It's almost like 'the grinding porn'. It's addictive. I NEED to hear stories like that on the...
Post a Comment
Read more

End of the year...

Dahlings How are you? I'm fine thanks. The end of the year has literally snuck up on me. I did not expect it at all. AT ALL. I still can't believe that when I write the date tomorrow it will be 01/12/2018. If time sprints as quickly as it has been then day after tomorrow I will be writing 01/01/2019. Yup, it's Friday night and I'm home alone. I am still at war within myself because I feel like I should be out there playing with other kids, making the pots to happen and meeting new people, etc. The plans I had were cancelled and I said "Thank you Lord" because I LOVE being home on a Friday night. I feel like I can really decompress from the hectic week. But I digress.... Have you ever felt like change is happening atmospherically but in the physical realm nothing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is happening. I've been feeling for quite some time that I need to prepare myself for big changes. I feel like the changes are gonna be everywhere. Big changes. Good cha...
Post a Comment
Read more