I still don't have a bomb way to start a post so here we go...
Hi, how are you? I'm fine thanks.
I wanted to title this post "AM I NORMAL" and then I thought 'girl nothing about you is normal'. So this post might not have a title. Time will tell. Anyways, I digress.
Towards the end of the year last year I started feeling burnt out from being too busy. I was working, studying and had a thriving social life. Don't get me wrong those are nice life problems. I often hear of people say "I struggle to make friends"; for me it is the opposite - I struggle not to make friends. I am very aware that I am blessed in that regard but this comes with its own challenges. I am the sort of person who goes all out for friends and family to a point that it may negatively impact me. I love giving & I love knowing that if a family member or a friend needs something I will be able to help. I have many memories (some of which I vlogged) from being part of amazing life events of friends and am so grateful.
I am a very introspective & retrospective person. At the end of each year, I like to look back and see what I managed to achieve and set new goals for the following year. When I look back at 2017 I see me doing a lot for people & didn't achieve all that I wanted to achieve for myself. I have no one to blame for this but myself. As grateful as I am for all the wonderful memories, I have made a pact with myself to date myself (this is what a single AF person would say) and do things that bring joy to me and invest in myself. This means that I will spend a lot of time by myself and this is where I thought "AM I NORMAL" because I am so excited to spend time by myself. Also, I will exercise the word NO a lot because I am going to have to turn down some people to do stuff.
Take this weekend for example. I eventually decided to do myself a great favour and get someone to help me clean my house because I am never able to clean as thoroughly as I would like. If you know me, you will know that I love a house that smells of Domestos. Because of my relatively busy schedule my house doesn't get to smell like Domestos because I don't have time to clean. I love cleaning but because it's always rushed & am tired I started to hate it. So I thought I will not spend one more minute being negative about my place. I need to look after myself & make my home as comfortable as possible & get someone to clean it. I felt guilty at first because a) I don't have a big house and b) I am all about saving money wherever I can. But on Saturday late afternoon when I came back from school I had a realisation that I can enjoy the little time that I have left of the weekend and not stress about cleaning. So I put on my gym gear, went to the gym and exercised outside while watching the sunset.
I then came home and put on beautiful jazz music, lit all the candles that I have at home put them in the bathroom and had a nice shower. To end this beautiful evening off I made myself a cup of chamomile tea and was in bed by 21:30. I didn't look at my phone, I just enjoyed time by myself and with my thoughts. IT. WAS. GLORIOUS.
The alternative to this would have been to go see a friend of mine who just gave birth or my cousin who also just had a baby or spent time with a friend who is going through stuff. But I chose to prioritise myself and I don't regret it one bit.
Oprah once said that you cannot give from a cup that is half empty. You need to make sure that your cup is full and only give from the overflow. As I am putting this to practise I realise it's going to take time for it to get comfortable but I need this and I deserve to have my cup overflow. I was created to enjoy life and in abundance.
I hope this post encourages you to look after yourself. The world needs the best and happiest version of yourself.
Cheers & let's live a little!
Stellah
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